Here we go....

There are so many people thinking of my momma right now, there is no way to call or get in touch with all of them on a daily basis. This is a way to let folks know what is going on with momma and her situation. There have been a lot of rumors going around (by no means where these mean spirited, but rather so many people love her so much and they are so concerned and everyone is talking and trying to get some consolation) and I want to make sure that everyone knows what is going on and where we are in this strange, strange adventure we are now taking.

Let me first give you some history on where this all began... for the past month or so, momma has seemed a little odd. Anyone that knows her knows that she is quite a character so erratic behavior or comments is never cause for concern! She is always causing a scene and the absolute center of attention. But the weeks before Thanksgiving, she seemed to be more forgetful and unable to find the words she was looking for. We all were a little concerned. On Thanskgiving, she told us that she had been taking Zoloft for a week and a half--she had gone to the doctor thinking the odd things going on were because of anxiety. Friday she and Daddy went to the doctor who took her off the Zoloft and told her it would be out of her system in a week but she continued to get worse. The appointment was made with her neurologist but it was two weeks off. My brother called daily and got her into the doctor on Monday, December 5th. The doctor said it was stress as well, we thought a nervous breakdown perhaps, but he did a MRI just in case and was going to call daddy with the results in a day or two. Before they could get out of Little Rock, they called to come back to the hospital, they had found swelling which might be caused by a tumor. Neall was with them at the hospital, came back to Wynne, and the two of us made it back to the hospital on Tuesday. The nuerogsurgeon came to speak with us, told us that the tumor was not able to be removed, but they could go in and try to get as much as possible with it--as much as they could do safely without causing more damage. He said that there was significant risk involved with this but without it, there would only be three months left with momma. Of course, there was no question. The surgery was Friday.

The tumor is in the left temporal lobe which explains why her words and memory have been so lost. Momma does not seem to be in physcial pain but is very frustrated that she can't always find the word she is looking for. Although, she has said some pretty humorous stuff! One of my personal favorites was when she told me that Neall and I had been such a blessing to her and that she knew we weren't perfect. She said, "you know, you with all the boys and all"; I had no idea my mother thought I was so promiscuous! But as long as I was still a blessing, I suppose that is okay!

The surgery on Friday went well. We were in the surgery waiting room and the doctor came out saying that he wanted the immediate family only in a seperate room, and I became terrified. Every drop of blood in my body fled to my knees and ankles. Even after he said she was alive and okay, I still felt as if I might faint and I was sitting down. He said they got all they could and that she was moving her hands and fingers--so no paralysis. He had no idea what a mover she was going to be! She was moved into a room Saturday afternoon and on Sunday, she got of bed and walked to the bathroom with me and put on fresh pajamas of her own and brushed her teeth. Less than 48 hours after a cranial surgery and she is walking around with no IVs and no catheter! What a champ!

Our plan at this point is to do radiation and chemotherapy. The brain has to heal for two weeks after surgery before radiation begins so we are looking at December 26th for the first day. My mother has been a woman of great strength her entire life. Her father died of lung cancer and she was there to care for him during this time; her mother had a tumor on her spine and suffered for twenty years and my mother was her sole caregiver and support for the entire time. It is her biggest fear to be a burden on anyone. She is great at helping others but pretty shabby at taking help. Momma would much rather leave this world without anyone having to take care of her than be here for a minute longer causing anyone pain or discomfort. She is quite possibly the most humble, loving and giving person that has ever been. And no one has ever been loved as much as she is.

I hope to update this as often as possible regarding her condition. Please know that momma loves everyone in her life dearly but at this point, she is distraught and terrified at "losing her mind". She has requested that no one visit or call her. Daddy is her rock and foundation at this time. It is our sincere hope and prayer that she comes to the point that she will want to see and visit with friends as we know that this is the best for her, but until she is okay with that we cannot and will not force her.

Daddy has been an absolute pillar of strength. Momma teases how alike we are--something that fifteen years ago would have appalled me! But now, that might be the greatest compliment there ever could be. I have the utmost respect for this man but this respect has been grown to a unimaginable point during this time. He is so incredibly good to momma and is so calm and understanding with her. She is completely enamoured by him and is only concerned with his well being and quite honestly, only cares about his opinion. If we told her the sky was blue she would ask him to confirm it was true. She continues to tell us all that she loves him so much and what a wonderful man he is, which no one could ever doubt.

Please keep her in your prayers. We all need it.